See You Tomorrow

Mama

Exactly one year ago today, I hugged my sweet Mama for the last time.  I still remember holding on tight to her and not wanting to let go, scared and uncertain of how exactly I was supposed to do that.  I soon came to realize that it’s not until the physical body is gone that you truly begin to hold onto the soul.  At that moment, when there is nothing left to grasp onto, the best part of a loved one’s soul holds tight to you instead and helps guide you through the most difficult moments of your life.  It is at that time that you begin to feel the magnitude of love that has ebbed and flowed between the two of you.

There is not a day that passes that I do not think of Mama all the time.  Her face is at the forefront of my mind as I rise and her words of wisdom comfort me at night as I try to wind down from the challenges of the day.  She is in the stories that I share with friends and the advice that I offer to my students.  Her words lift from my tongue without realization until the thought pops into my mind that it is exactly something she would say.  When I’m feeling sad, thoughts of her kindness comfort me.  When I’m feeling angry, memories of her strength and perseverance enter my mind.  When I’m feeling happy, recollection of her laughter envelopes my heart.

She is with me today just as much as she was all the years before.  I cannot hug her tightly in my arms; but, I can feel her arms wrapped around my heart.  I cannot share in conversation with her; but, I can sense her words of comfort daily.  I cannot taste her food, ask her a question, or comfort her when she cries.  But there is one thing for certain I can experience…..each time my chimes ring….which tends to be often these days….it sure feels like her voice rising just above all the other angels on high to sing a song of happiness and support.

One of the things that stands out so strongly in my memory of Mama in her final days is how positively she acknowledged her final visits with friends and family.  Instead of saying goodbye each time someone came to visit her during that final week, Mama tended to say, “See you tomorrow.”  It remains as one of my most cherished memories of her final days.  I love that goodbye was not an option for her, but instead a simple statement reminding us all that we will enjoy a loving reunion somewhere later on down the line, was.

Miss U!  Love U!  Mean it, my sweet Mama!!

 “See you tomorrow!!”

Mama and me

 

 

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When the Chimes Ring

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I’ve taken into consideration that some who read this may not have been privy to one of my stories previously shared among friends that holds considerable weight as to why I named this blog, When the Chimes Ring.  So I felt it only right to backtrack a bit and enlighten those to the back story for two reasons.  First, it’s meaningful to me and that is always reason enough to share one’s thoughts; and second, I often refer to chimes ringing and to not have the prior knowledge of “why?” might leave one with a blank stare and empty thoughts of confusion.  So here goes….my first blog….a recap on a story that will forever remain close to my heart.

Original post: January 12, 2014.

Some of you may recall my stating that I’ve received numerous signs that Mom is with me. At least I believe it to be true. Just now, to liven’ up the morning, I went walking through my house and asked Marcello, (Yes…I do speak to my dog as if he were human)…”Would you like to listen to some music? I think it would be fabulous.” Just as I was finishing the final word, I heard the most beautiful tinkling notes fill the air, as if in response to my inquiry. I automatically recognized it as wind chimes.

Now anyone who knew Mom, knew of her mad love for wind chimes. When she was first diagnosed with cancer I bought her a set specifically made for healing. I recall her calling me one morning to tell me she was sitting in the breakfast room, enjoying a cup of coffee while listening to her beautiful chimes, and already felt better. It warmed my heart to know they were bringing her such happiness.

Those of you who live in this area are completely aware that it is a windy day here in our lovely valley. What you don’t know about this story is that while cleaning out a closet right after Mom passed away, in an effort to hang the ornaments she made in hopes of filling my home with her essence, I came across these wind chimes. I was so excited to find them because they reminded me of her and I thought that I had lost them. I did not hesitate a second longer and rushed outside to hang them. They were beautiful and sparkly…but did not chime. I kept wishing for some wind to help them make music. But alas, it was not to be.

So today, over a month after I originally hung them, it was such a feeling of pure joy to hear them chiming in the breeze and creating their own music…..as if on command….just sayin’…just coincidence?…I think not.  Thank you, Mama…for giving me a sign that is bold and easily recognizable.

Now, whenever I hear chimes ring…I know that she is with me.  And this, my friends, is why I have named this blog, “When the Chimes Ring.”