Solitude

I have to admit, there are times when I truly love just sitting in my home on a Saturday evening and enjoying the simple pleasures and luxuries that are so often overlooked during my hectic life.  In my youth, if you had asked me if I would ever have said that, the answer would have been a resounding, “No!!”  I was determined not to be a homebody that wasted away my evenings and weekends doing “nothing.”  I see it so differently now.  I understand the beauty in leisurely preparing dinner and then enjoying it with no time constraints.  A lazy evening sipping tea and reading a good book is just as good as a celebratory night out on the town.  It’s all in how you look at it.

As years progress, I’ve started to realize the value of serenity and meditation; whether that practice is described as the actual theory of, or some other recognized notion like listening to good music, sipping the perfect glass of wine, humming on a silent walk, or watching the stars twinkle.  These are the fragments in time I feel most connected to Mom.  At that moment when there are no distractions to keep the memories from showering down upon me, I feel a sense of calm wash over me.  I miss her every day and realize the value in these peaceful moments.  I’m free to cry openly or laugh out loud with no other eyes upon me and although it appears that I am alone….in my heart I feel she is there with me during these ups and downs, helping me through this journey every step of the way.

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